I feel like for my entire life I have been told what is best for me. What I should eat, who I should be friends with, how I should dress. Honestly it’s pretty annoying. Recently I decided I wanted to take my life into my own hands. I want to do what I want, make mistakes, see people and places, just live my own life.
I have a very strongly opinionated mother. I love her to pieces but I very rarely appreciate her opinion on life. As a person she is very pessimistic and I can understand why. However every plan I make is met with a negative comment; “oh your uncle went to New York, he hated it” or “I mean it might not last so why waste your money”. For years comments like this really bothered me. It broke me, made me feel small and insignificant. I appreciate and look up to my mother immensely but as soon as she speaks such hurtful comments I can’t help but have a split moment where I have no respect for her. It has taken me all these years but I am choosing to not let her words hurt me.
I’m letting myself do what makes me happy. So yes that means booking a trip to New York, spending money on amazing experiences, loving who I want and dressing how I want. I feel so free. It’s like a cloud has lifted and I can see clearer. I feel no confusion about what I want. I know what I’m doing with my life, I know how to get there and I know who I want by my side.
I’m choosing to live my life how I want. Making my own mistakes and learning for them. I’m not afraid of doing something for the fear of something maybe not going right. I will make my own mistakes in life and I will learn from them. That’s the only way I will grow as a person. I’m not going to let anyone else stunt my growth. It’s my life and I’ll live it my way.